


Man at War with Miracles

by TheMarchingBand



Category: Pacific Rim (2013)
Genre: Character Study, Gen, random as hell
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-12-05
Updated: 2013-12-05
Packaged: 2018-01-03 13:22:55
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 860
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1070954
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheMarchingBand/pseuds/TheMarchingBand
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>You're not a soldier, but you can sure as hell fight.<br/>You're not a medical doctor, but you're going to save lives, you're going to save cities, you're going to save the entire fucking world.<br/>You're not built for the front lines, but you're not just going to sit back and watch it happen.<br/>You'd never be mistaken for a hero, so that's exactly what you're going to be.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Man at War with Miracles

**Author's Note:**

> Yooooo, my first fic. If it can really be called a fic. Really it's more of me using Newton as an excuse to write run on sentences.  
> I do not claim to own anything related to Pacific Rim, besides a DVD which I have watched far too many times, if that wasn't obvious already.  
> Anyway. Fic. Newton. Rambling. Enjoy.

You're not a soldier.

You never have been, you never will be. It's not exactly your training.

Not that kind of doctor

You've never actually had to say that. No one would mistake _you_ for a medical man. For a hero. Not with your bedraggled hair, or your skinny ties, or the rivers of ink blossoming across your skin.

You've never had to say that to anyone but yourself.

You've watched the destruction so many times, so many times that the panic no longer seizes your chest, so many times that you can tune out the shrieks and explosions of a kaiju attack, piped through radio speakers like the theme music of a dying world, so many times that you can hear your father's voice inside your head, muttering

"You could've been a _real_ doctor" without shouting back at him that you're doing the best you can and _fuck you, dad_.

You're not a soldier, but you can sure as hell fight.

You're not a medical doctor, but you're going to save lives, you're going to save cities, you're going to save the entire fucking world.

You're not built for the front lines, but you're not just going to sit back and watch it happen. You'd never be mistaken for a hero, so that's exactly what you're going to be. You're going to shove it all back in their faces, ever snicker, every glare, every whispered hiss of 'traitor', sharp enough to cut lines into your already battered skin. You're going to prove them all so very _very_ wrong and if you have to save the entire _universe_ to do it, so be it.

Because this is what your training can do. Because you don't love the kaiju, no matter what the idiots choose to believe. You admire them as any great tactician appreciates a truly impressive opposition.

They're fucking beautiful and horrific and they're the most wonderful puzzle you've ever seen and they've taken over your entire life, because this is what _you_ can do.

You're not a soldier, not a 'proper' doctor, but you're small and you're quick and you're sharp and you're going behind enemy lines, because you need to understand, not for you own curiosity (Well, okay, a little for your own curiosity) but because that's the only way you're going to win this war.

You're a scientist, a biologist, you have three fucking pHDs, and you're not built for war, but you're adaptable and so you're going to fight, you're going to find the chink in their armor and you're going to save the world in the only way you can. You're going to damn well _understand_ the kaiju, you're going to bring them down, you're going to save everyone, and you're going to be the hero they never thought you were, and you're going to do whatever it takes to get there, because this is all you have left and it has to mean something, anything.

These monsters are all you have left and if they consume what life you have left, that's fine, you'll exist on coffee and hobnobs and three hours of sleep a week, you'll etch the damn things into your skin, if that's what it takes so you won't forget that this is what matters, this is what you can do and you. Can. Do. This.

Because you're not a doctor. You're not a soldier. You don't even have what it takes to be a jaeger pilot.

Because you will have been absolutely useless unless you figure this out.

The world is dying and you can't be the one to set bones or sew skin. The kaiju are tearing the planet apart and you can't be the one to face off against them, to stand guard, metal suit glinting above the horizon, like the giants of legend.

You are just one small man. All you have is your mind, and even that is a bit off sometimes. You can't heal the people and you can't protect them, but you're a scientist, you're a rockstar, and, hell, maybe you're a madman, but you're going to bring the kaiju down from the inside out.

Because that is the way you can fight, it's the way you've always fought and your brain is not going to let you down now.

It doesn't matter that you're only 5' 7", that you weigh less than you should and none of it is muscle mass, that you haven't slept in days and that there's coffee and some other unrecognizable substance on your shirt.

There's too much blood and too much death and you're drowning in the screams of all the people no one could save.

You can fight and so you're going to fight, in the only way you can, and you're going to succeed, you have to, or all that blood is on your hands and you can't sleep through the nightmares anyway so you'll just keep working through the night.

You're going to fight and you're going to win, because that's the only option you have left.

You're not a soldier, but what else do you do when you're living in a war zone?

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> Heeeey, sorry that sucked, feel free to whine about it in the comments.  
> Thanks for reading :)


End file.
